After losing a beloved pet, some people cry for days. Others are surprised to find that they cannot cry at all.
If you haven’t cried since your dog or cat died, it does not mean you loved them any less. Grief can look different from one person to another. Tears are one way to express it, but they are not a measure of love.
Through my work creating custom knitted pet memorial cushions in Japan, I have listened to many people who are grieving their pets. Having lost my own dog, I know how difficult those conversations can be. I have also seen how meaningful it can be when someone finally feels safe enough to share their sorrow.
Is It Normal Not to Cry After Losing a Pet?
Yes. Some people feel numb, overwhelmed, or unable to put their feelings into words after a pet dies. Others are busy caring for family members, or simply aren’t comfortable crying. Not crying does not mean you are grieving incorrectly.
In my conversations with customers, I have noticed that some people who kept their feelings inside later found comfort when they were able to cry. This is a personal observation, not a rule: you do not need to make yourself cry in order to heal.
What I’ve Learned From Customers Who Finally Let Themselves Cry
Some customers become tearful while ordering a memorial cushion. They tell me stories about their pets, sometimes including memories of their final days. We may talk again two or three times as they choose photographs and discuss the design.
By the time the finished cushion arrives, some sound a little more at ease. I have received messages of thanks that seem to carry both tears and smiles.
Other customers speak calmly during the order process, only to tell me later how much pain they were carrying. One person described the experience this way:
“I bottled it up and didn’t cry until I saw the cushion. Then I finally cried—and I felt like I could say a proper goodbye.”
What stays with me is not simply that they cried. It is that they found a moment when they could acknowledge how much they missed their companion.
Why Might Someone Have Trouble Crying After a Pet Dies?
1. They are trying to be strong for their family
When a pet dies, everyone in the household may be grieving in a different way. If one family member is especially devastated, another may focus on comforting them and put their own sadness aside.
We have had customers send memorial cushions to a parent or sibling. Seeing that loved one hold the cushion and cry sometimes gave the person who sent the gift permission to acknowledge their own grief, too.
2. Crying in front of others feels uncomfortable
Some people have spent years trying not to cry in front of anyone. Even when they are alone, tears may not come easily. There is no need to force them. Quietly remembering your pet, looking at photographs, or simply sitting with your feelings can also be meaningful.
3. Someone has dismissed their grief
People who have never experienced a close bond with an animal may not understand the pain of pet loss. An insensitive remark from a coworker, neighbor, or even a relative can make someone reluctant to talk about their pet again.
Sometimes, hearing another person’s pet loss story is enough to remind us that our feelings deserve kindness and understanding.
What Can Help When You Can’t Cry Over Your Pet?
You do not need to make tears happen. Instead, consider finding a place where you can remember your pet without having to hide your feelings. That might mean talking with someone who listens without judgment, writing down a memory, or spending time with a photograph or keepsake.
Some customers have told me that they returned to our website many times while searching for comfort. One described waiting for a memorial cushion as feeling a little like waiting for their pet to come home again.
Of course, a knitted cushion cannot bring a pet back. But for some people, holding something made from their pet’s photograph becomes a way to remember their warmth and the days they shared.
One customer told me:
“Please keep giving strength to others, as you did for me.”
I have never forgotten those words.
Do You Have to Cry to Heal From Pet Loss?
No. There is no single correct way to grieve a pet, and there is no deadline for feeling better. Crying may bring relief for some people; others find comfort through conversation, quiet routines, or memories. Your grief is real whether or not tears come.
If your grief is making it difficult to sleep, eat, work, or manage everyday life, consider talking with a mental health professional or another trusted source of support. You deserve care, even if you cannot explain exactly what you are feeling.
A Place Where You Don’t Have to Hide Your Sadness
My work is to listen to people’s stories and knit cushions from photographs of the pets they love. It is a small thing compared with the depth of their loss, but I hope this website can also be a place where someone feels understood.
If you cry while remembering your pet, that is okay. If you cannot cry, that is okay, too.
The love you shared with your pet is not measured by your tears. It lives in the ordinary moments you remember, and in the place your companion still holds in your heart.
Related reading: Knit with Heart: Why I Create Memorial Knits