I’ve now reached a place where I’ve made peace with my grief and live happily surrounded by warm memories of my beloved cats and dogs.
Today, I create pet memorial gifts and support my customers through their own pet loss grief, so I often find myself reflecting on the time when I was struggling the most.
Looking back, I realize my journey through grieving the loss of a pet passed through three stages:
Stage 1:
The overwhelming sadness in the days right after saying goodbye.
Stage 2:
The determination to “get through this” in the weeks after the loss.
Stage 3:
The unexpected fear, months later, that if I fully healed, I might forget my beloved cat.
I lost my precious companion, a cat named Maro, to illness.
Although I was able to keep working, for about a month I found myself crying suddenly at home, overcome with grief.
Part of me felt, I need to move on quickly. I can’t keep crying forever.
But another part of me feared, If I laugh and enjoy life again, will I forget Maro?
I even wondered if it might be better to remain in that sad, lonely state forever rather than risk losing the connection I felt.
What Does “Healing” After Pet Loss Look Like to You?
If you can picture your ideal emotional state after pet bereavement, I believe you can move toward healing in a more positive way.
If you can picture your ideal emotional state after pet bereavement, I believe you can move toward healing in a more positive way.
Here’s my Maro.
It has been a year since I said goodbye.
I’ve nearly overcome the worst of my pet loss grief—I feel healthy and positive again, yet I still think of Maro every day.
I look at her photo and remember the happy times. Sometimes I feel a pang of loneliness, but I imagine she has come to visit me from heaven, and my heart feels lighter.
For me, the ideal post-grief state is when:
- I can smile while talking about my pet.
- I can look at their photo without breaking down.
- Even when sadness comes, it passes quickly.
- Most importantly, I feel gratitude for the time we had together.
For those worried that “healing” means forgetting, please know—you will never truly forget them. The very fact you worry about it is proof that you won’t.
Separating Loneliness from Pain
Losing a pet brings both loneliness and pain.
As long as both are strong, the grief remains fresh.
If the pain fades but the loneliness remains, you’ve likely reached a healthier emotional place.
I still miss having a cat in my home, but the sharp pain is gone.
I long to see Maro, but I no longer feel the unbearable ache of not being able to.
I can laugh again, work with joy, and enjoy my daily life.
This, to me, is an ideal recovery from pet loss—where love remains, but suffering no longer dominates.
Imagining Your Ideal Relationship With a Pet in Heaven
If you’re still in deep grief, try imagining what your relationship with your pet might look like once you’ve healed:
Visiting their grave and sharing updates about your life.
Talking about them joyfully with friends and family.
Greeting their photo each day and feeling uplifted.
Looking through their pictures on your phone for comfort on hard days.
Picturing this kind of connection can help you move forward, while still keeping them close in your heart.
And if you’re not ready yet, that’s okay too—there’s no rush.
Take your time, and when the day comes that you can think of them with more love than pain, you’ll know you’ve reached your own “ideal after pet loss.”
I hope that day comes for you, and that you’ll always feel gratitude for the time you shared with your beloved pet in heaven.
