Introduction:
When a beloved pet passes away, some people may feel the need to take time off from work.
The emotional toll can be overwhelming, and it’s not uncommon for grief to affect one’s ability to focus or perform well on the job.
However, when people open up about their loss in the workplace, they don’t always receive compassion.
Instead, they may be met with cold or dismissive comments like:
“It’s just a pet. Why are you making such a big deal?”
Hearing something like this can make the pain even worse.
So what should you do when you’re grieving and someone at work says something hurtful?
In this article, we’ll explore how to deal with unsympathetic responses from coworkers or managers after losing a pet — and how to protect your emotional well-being in the process.
Not Everyone at Work Will Understand Pet Loss — And That’s Okay
It’s a hard truth: not everyone in the workplace will understand what it means to grieve the loss of a pet.
Some people have never had a pet. Others simply don’t like animals. So it’s not surprising when they fail to understand the depth of your sorrow.
They may not mean to hurt you, but their words can still be deeply upsetting.
You might even hear something that makes you question yourself:
“What’s more important — your pet or your job?”
If you’ve ever been asked that, here’s the truth:
The right answer is the one that feels true to you.
In other words, only you can decide whether or not to take time off.
And if your heart tells you, “My pet’s life matters more right now,”
then yes — take the time you need.
It’s okay to put your pet first.
In most workplaces, requesting paid leave is a perfectly acceptable and legitimate choice. There’s no need to feel guilty for using the time that’s already available to you.
Because if you ignore your grief and choose work over your pet’s final moments, you might end up with deep regret later.
I know this because I’ve been there.
When I lost my pet, I chose to prioritize work.
My job is to create memorial items for grieving pet owners and to offer support through their loss.
It’s a role that my own pets — now gone — have given me, and I continue this work in their memory.
Here’s the story of when I lost my cat
What to Do When You Feel Alone in Your Grief at Work
Of course, it’s not always possible to go against your manager’s decisions.
If your boss or coworkers show no sympathy for your loss, pushing back too strongly may only make the situation worse.
In the worst cases, it might even make the workplace feel hostile or uncomfortable.
That doesn’t mean you have to suffer in silence forever — but in the moment, it may be best to take a step back and wait.
Here’s something to remember: in many countries, it’s said that one in every three households has a pet.
That means there’s a good chance that someone in your workplace owns a pet, too.
Try reaching out to them.
They may be quietly struggling with the same feelings — unsure whether it’s okay to speak up.
They may truly understand what you’re going through.
Even just one person who listens with empathy can make a big difference.
What matters most is this:
You don’t have to go through this alone.
When Someone Belittles Your Pet’s Life, Remember This
When someone says something hurtful after you’ve lost your pet,
the pain often doesn’t come from the words themselves —
but from the feeling that your pet’s life is being dismissed or disrespected.
Comments like:
“It’s just a pet.”
“You’re overreacting — it’s not like a person died.”
What you really want to say is:
“Don’t you dare make light of my pet’s life.”
But most of the time, you can’t say that out loud.
You just swallow the pain.
In moments like that, try not to focus on protecting yourself.
Instead, focus on protecting your pet’s memory.
Imagine becoming a shield —
standing between your beloved pet and the harshness of those careless words.
You absorb the impact, so none of it touches them.
When you think of it that way,
even the cruelest words can feel easier to bear.
You might find yourself thinking:
“Say what you want. I’ll take it — for them.”
That’s how I feel about Maro, my cat who recently passed away.
I would do anything to protect his memory — even now.
When you get home, speak to your pet’s photo.
If their body is still with you, gently stroke them one last time.
And when you do,
those painful words that stabbed your heart earlier
might just fall away —
like a thorn that finally lets go.
