At our studio, we create custom-made knitted items based on customers’ beloved pets. Over the years, many people have shared their stories and struggles with us when placing their orders. Some open up about the deep sadness they’re carrying after losing a pet.
As I listen to these heartfelt stories, I’ve realized just how many people are suffering in silence. Some feel unable to talk about their grief—even with their own family members.
Isn’t that such a heartbreaking situation?
But the truth is, it happens more often than we think.
I understand this pain very well because my own family went through it too. My father, for example, didn’t like pets at all. (You can read more about that experience [here].)
I’ve been listening to people’s pet loss stories for over 20 years. And throughout those years, I’ve come to a powerful realization:
The greatest pain of pet loss is feeling like no one truly understands your grief.
And the greatest comfort is finding someone who does.
When these two emotional needs are addressed, many people find the strength to move forward—even while carrying their sadness.
So, how can we begin to overcome the loneliness of grief?
The answer often lies in simply talking to someone.
With that in mind, today I’d like to explore the importance of seeking support when dealing with pet loss.
Who Should You Talk to About Pet Loss?
When it comes to grieving the loss of a pet, one of the most important things is choosing the right person to talk to.
It’s best to avoid opening up to people who aren’t interested in animals or who may not understand the depth of your emotions.
Unfortunately, there are people who might say (or at least think), “It’s just a pet—why are you so upset?”
Sometimes, even family members or close friends might respond this way.
They may not mean any harm, but if they’ve never had a pet, they might not fully grasp how painful the loss can be.
So who is the right person to talk to about pet loss?
Ideally, someone who currently has a pet—or better yet, someone who has experienced the loss of a pet themselves.
These individuals are far more likely to understand your pain and offer genuine empathy.
Even if they don’t have time to talk right away, they’ll likely check in with you later, because they care.
People you’ve grown close to through pets—like fellow dog walkers, park friends, or neighbors—can also be great listeners.
Just talking with someone who understands can bring a surprising sense of calm.
Of course, there are also kind-hearted people who don’t have pets but are still willing to lend a compassionate ear.
If someone in your life has always been supportive and trustworthy, don’t hesitate to reach out to them.
And if you really can’t find anyone to talk to, consider speaking with a trusted veterinarian or someone at an animal welfare organization.
Personally, I found great comfort in talking to the veterinarian who cared for my cat.
Click here to see what happened at that time.
Also, because our cat was one we adopted from an animal shelter, we reported the cat’s death to the staff at the shelter and asked for their advice. They listened to us sympathetically and spoke to us kindly.
If you still can’t find anyone to talk to, there is also counseling for pet loss.
This seems to cost a little money, but you will be spoken to by a professional counselor, so you can trust them and ask for their help.
Click here to talk to a counselor
Be Careful Not to Overburden Others with Your Grief
As someone who frequently listens to my customers’ concerns, I want to share a gentle reminder: I’m not a professional counselor.
Listening to emotional stories is not my main job—my primary work is creating custom knitted items.
When I spend time talking, it naturally delays the production process. And if the same person continues to reach out repeatedly, it can become difficult to manage.
Even if you have someone you trust, it’s important to be mindful not to overburden them with your grief.
No matter how kind someone is, talking for hours every day or repeating the same story over and over can be emotionally draining and time-consuming.
They may respond with compassion, but they also have their own responsibilities and emotional limits.
Be sure to show consideration for their time and emotional energy. Recognize when it might be best to take a step back.
Who Not to Talk to About Pet Loss
As mentioned earlier, there are some people who may not be the best choice for discussing pet loss—even if they are family members or close friends.
Sadly, some people simply may not be able to understand or empathize with your grief.
In some situations, you might feel obligated to mention your pet’s passing even if you’re unsure how the other person will react—such as in a professional or work-related setting.
Please also see “Things to keep in mind when taking time off work due to the death of a pet.”
Pet loss worries sent to us by our customers
We knit photos of pets and create memorial goods.
When I receive an order for a pet that has passed away, I create it with the feeling that it is a gift from heaven.
When placing an order, I receive long emails with concerns, and sometimes people even cry on the phone.
I do my best to help my customers, hoping that it will cheer them up.
I may only be able to listen to their stories, but I have even heard things like,
“Thank you for listening to me,”
“I couldn’t talk to anyone about this until now,”
“I was glad that you were willing to listen to me, even though even my own family treats me so harshly.”
These words give me the push I need to create my work, and I feel that I have been of some use to people, even if only a little.
Having experienced the loss of my dogs and cats, they will never come back, but I think it can give you a positive attitude and make you want to keep trying your best to live.
I would be happy if I could be a catalyst for people like you.
