When we experience the loss of a beloved pet, even if we think we’ve overcome the grief once, the pain often returns again and again. If this continues for a long time, it begins to affect our daily lives and mental health.
I’ve gone through the same experience myself, and even now, I sometimes feel anxious or weighed down by negative thoughts. I generally see myself as a rather negative person by nature.
During those difficult times, I’ve found support through mindfulness. You might think it sounds like some kind of suspicious practice, but it’s really very close to meditation or yoga. In fact, many professional athletes incorporate it into their routines.
Today, I’d like to share the simple mindfulness practices that I personally use. Please note, I’m not a psychiatrist or a yoga teacher—this is simply my personal experience.
If you’d like to know more about what mindfulness is, please read this article: Mindfulness helps you stay calm even when you’re struggling with worries [Pet Loss Recovery Story].
Not Dwelling on the Past or Future
Before explaining the methods I practice, let me touch on the purpose of mindfulness. It helps us recover from anxieties about the future and regrets about the past—feelings that often come with pet loss.
Mindfulness means living in the present moment, cherishing the “now,” and focusing on yourself as you are in this very instant.
Unlike meditation or Zen practice, it doesn’t have to be difficult.
Examples of My Mindfulness Practice
Visiting Sacred Places
One thing I often do is visit shrines. Shrines in Japan are considered “power spots,” places where you can receive unseen energy.
I also visit cemeteries—not only during Obon or equinoctial week, but whenever I feel the need. I clean the graves, offer flowers and incense. This act always refreshes me and clears my mind. Visiting a pet’s grave is especially comforting.
Sometimes I also attend Christian services with friends. Receiving a prayer from a pastor fills me with peace.
I later realized that these religious practices are also a form of mindfulness.
I’m not tied to any one religion, so I visit various places, but if you have a personal faith, I recommend visiting its sacred sites.
Focusing on the Five Senses
Our senses—touch, smell, taste, sight, and sound—bring in countless experiences. By focusing on them, we naturally return to the present.
For example, while eating, I pay attention to the taste, texture, colors, aroma, and seasonal feeling of the food. That alone can change my mood.
The sadness of pet loss doesn’t disappear, but worries about the past and future fade into the background. I feel centered, stable.
When walking, I notice the scent of the breeze, birdsong, and the townscape. Early mornings are quiet, with birds gently chirping. Walking with this awareness feels wonderful.
Stopping “Multitasking”
I stopped doing two things at once—for example, checking my phone while walking. This lets me truly focus on the sights and sounds around me.
I also avoid eating while watching TV, so I can fully enjoy the flavors and textures of the food.
That said, sometimes “multitasking” can be positive—listening to music while cooking, or chatting with someone while eating. I stay flexible with this.
How This Helps My Clients
I believe mindfulness helps people recover from pet loss more quickly. It reduces regret and fear, and nurtures gratitude toward our pets. It helps us let go in a healthier way.
Of course, some of my clients face very serious struggles. While they may first come to me about the loss of a pet, many also carry heavy worries about friends, their own future, or family illness.
I’ve had major struggles myself, so I deeply understand how overwhelming this can feel.
When we face multiple worries at once, life becomes even harder. But mindfulness helps sort them out: what we’re truly troubled by, what can and cannot be solved, what needs thought and what can be set aside.
This clarity prevents us from wasting energy on unnecessary worries and helps us focus only on what matters now.
Gratitude Beyond the Pain
Even though our pets cannot return, by stabilizing our hearts, we can feel grateful for the miracle of having met them and treasure the memories we shared.
No matter how many worries we carry, the bond with our pets can give us strength to carry on.
Perhaps that is why so many people choose to order my memorial cushions—to hold onto those precious memories in a warm, tangible way.
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