Welcome to the Fandelwan blog.
Through creating memorial pieces, I often listen to my customers’ stories of pet loss. Naturally, this brings back memories of my own experiences. At times, their sadness pulls me down with them, and I find myself stuck in negative thoughts.
This blog is where I share how I live through those moments.
Today’s topic isn’t about “How to escape negative thinking.”
(If you’d like to read about that, you can check my other article.)
Instead, I’d like to talk about why it’s okay to remain negative sometimes.
Living With a Naturally Negative Mind
I’ve always been the type of person who gets hurt easily and tends to spiral into dark thoughts.
If someone speaks to me harshly, I take it to heart. Even when people say kind things, I accept them sincerely—though such moments are fewer.
I also carry many worries about the future.
My wife once laughed and said to me:
“You actually like being in trouble, don’t you?”
She was smiling, but I wasn’t.
Why Negative Thoughts Arise
I’ve come to believe there’s a reason behind negative thinking—or at least I convince myself of that.
For example:
- If I’m worried I’ll be late for a meeting, I leave early.
- If I’m worried I’ll forget something, I prepare more carefully.
In other words, my worries help me prevent trouble before it happens.
So while I call myself “negative,” perhaps it’s actually foresight. Maybe it means I’m simply good at preparing in advance.
Changing Your Personality Isn’t Always the Goal
I have a friend who is always cheerful and positive. Even if he has tough times, he’s smiling, energetic, and makes a wonderful impression.
Sometimes I imagine becoming like him. But honestly, I think it would exhaust me. I’d feel as if I were living a lie.
Imagine a grieving customer comes to me, and I smile and say:
“Cheer up! Stay positive!”
Wouldn’t that feel a little insensitive?
That’s why I believe it’s better for me to stay as I am—even if that means being negative at times.
The Connection Between Body and Mind
We often hear that mind and body are connected. I’ve found this to be true.
When the body hurts, the mind sinks.
When you’re ill, you naturally feel anxious about the future.
Our physical condition changes daily. Weather, temperature, and other small things can shift our energy. When our bodies fluctuate, so do our emotions.
That’s why I try not to take my mood swings too seriously—they may just be my body talking.
Learning to Accept My Negative Self
In the end, we must live with our own personalities. Changing who we are is hard, but changing the way we think is possible.
A customer once said something I’ll never forget:
What a beautiful thought. It reminded me that suffering can be transformed into a sign of love and connection.
With that perspective, I’ve begun to think:
“Maybe being negative isn’t so bad after all.”
You Don’t Always Have to Change
Some of my customers tell me they want to change their anxious, worry-prone personalities.
But I hope they also know that staying the same is okay.
If you loved your pet deeply, your feelings matter. Please take care of them.
Why Cushions Help Me Keep Going
Pet loss is painful. Yet when a customer tells me:
“I can keep going because I have this cushion.”
—I’m reminded how meaningful this work truly is.
We may “just” make knitted cushions, but what’s woven into them is far greater:
their beloved pet, countless memories, and the warmth of love.
I feel honored to create these treasures that hold people’s hearts.
And I hope to continue making pieces that stay close to you, just as your pets once did.
