Introducing the situation of pet loss in Japan.
Today, let’s think about what to say to someone who has lost a pet.
(I’m not good at English. This article is written using google translation)
If we receive the following message from a friend or lover,
“My dog died”
“My cat died”
what kind of words should we say ?
Appropriate words will vary from person to person.
Also, if you make a mistake in the content of the words, there is a possibility that you will cheer up them.
I hope this article is helpful.
table of contents
- the words i always say
- First of all, try to understand the feelings of the owner.
- The importance of giving words
- specific example sentences
- Words used in social situations
- words used by close friends
- Listening is more important than words
- Response according to the situation
- Words that need attention
- when you can’t find the words
- when our pet died
- Words that made me happy
- Words that were painful to say
- What my friend said when their pet died
What I would say to someone who has lost a pet
at first, let me introduce what I usually say.
It’s been 17 years since I made pet memorial items.
We receive pet loss consultations from customers every day, and we talk by email and phone.
And after the delivery of the product, it is said like this.
When I was searching for memorial goods, I learned this site and ordered it. Even when creating the design, they were polite and sympathetic . My family is very happy to see the cushion that arrived.
Ordered product: Knitted cushion
When I ordered, I was encouraged by being close to my feelings, responding quickly, and being very kind. Unlike the printed one, the knit one has a nice texture.
Ordered product: Knitted cushion
during the LINE exchange made my heart warm.
Product ordered: Throw half
Let me show you what I said.
It’s just ordinary words like:
“I think it’s painful, please do not overdo it.”
“We have had the same experience. I understand how you feel.”
At first, I try not to ask detail like this.
Because it’s the first time we’re talking to.
Appropriate words change depending on the relationship with the person.
If you are close to them, there may be better words that work better.
And I think the appropriate words change depending on the state of their feelings.
I think the important thing is not words, but whether you understand their feelings.
Understanding the feelings of those who have lost a pet
The first step is to understand how it feels to lose a pet.
If a friend calls you to say that their pet has passed away, they are counting on you.
They want you to trust them and support them.
If you can meet them, you would like to be by their side. or they may feel relieved just by listening to them over the phone or by email.
Owners want to talk to someone about their pets.
They want you to share their grief.
You can help them by listening to them talk about their pets.
I would like to introduce a customer who placed an order in consideration of a family member (mother at home) who lost a pet.
The other day, my beloved dog at home died suddenly.
My mother was always with her dog when she slept, when she ate, and when she went for walks.
And she said “I don’t know what to do tomorrow.”
I wondered if I could do something for my mother, so I found knitted cushion.
Mom said “I can’t hold her anymore” so I ordered a cushion thinking she could be hugged.
At first, I thought it might make mother feel even sadder, but when I showed her the finished cushion, she said, “I was so happy I cried.”
I gave it as a gift and it was really nice. Thank you very much for making such a wonderful cushion. thank you very much!
Ordered product: Knitted cushion
The importance of speaking to someone who has lost a pet
Talking to someone who has lost a pet means a lot to them.
If someone keep their sadness alone without telling anyone about their painful feelings, their pain of pet loss will only increase.
In that situation, when you say kind words to them, they feel like you’ve shared their grief.And their painful feelings will be eased, and it will probably lead to gratitude that they will never forget for the rest of their lives.
The important thing is to let them know that you are not alone .
The reason I was able to overcome pet loss was because I had a family who cried with me .
I hope that your words will support and save them.
Example of saving a lover’s feelings
My boyfriend was very pleased with the beautifully made cushions.
dog was my boyfriend’s important family member, but he passed away in March. I wondered if there was anything I could do for him, so I placed an order. My boyfriend and his family really pleased it!
I am so grateful.
Ordered product: Knitted cushion
Words given to people who lost a pet that changes depending on the relationship with the other party
The words you say to someone who has lost a pet change greatly depending on the relationship with the other person.
When you receive the report, you’ll probably be in pain when you get the report.
If it’s a family member who has cared for you together, or a lover’s pet you’ve played with many times,
“I see ,I understand.”
Sometimes a word like this can say it all.
You will be able to tell them that you are also painful.
on the other hand, Sometimes no matter what you say, it doesn’t reach them.
There may be more in that case.
at that time
“It’s painful. Don’t overdo it.”
And so on, it’s best not to say too much.
Now, let’s think about specific words for each case.
I will introduce a concrete example.
The words you choose will also change depending on your relationship with the other person.
Words used in social situations
First of all, if the other party is a workplace.
Even in business, you may suddenly find out that the person you were talking to lost their pet.
Because pet loss is so painful that they can’t even get a job, and they can’t spend the same time as usual.
If you find out about their pet’s death in such a situation, the first thing you might be better to say
“Please accept my sincere condolences”
“I understand your feelings.”
I think that general words are better.
if you don’t have a pet
“I don’t have a pet, but I hear it’s the same as family.”
Saying that will make them feel like he understands your feelings.
If you like dogs and cats, you might be treat them with honest feelings.
“What kind of dog?”
“What’s your cat’s name?”
If you ask them this way, they might be happy.
When we receive a pet loss consultation from a customer, we try not to ask detail about it at first. And if the customer talks to me more, I listen to them gradually, and I try to listen to them in detail little by little.
Introduce words that helped people who lost their pets (workplace)
Customers who have ordered memorial goods have posted their experiences.
It will introduce a part.
I couldn’t handle my work, and I felt cold stares from my colleagues. At that time, when I was at work, my boss told me, “It must have been hard. Don’t overdo it.” I couldn’t hold back my tears, so I ran to the bathroom and cried until I calmed down. I ordered a cushion because I wanted to feel refreshed after crying and create something for memories. It’s my treasure.
Women in their 30s buy knitted cushions
It seems that the support center who is taking care of me lost his pet a few days ago. He is not the type to show his weak side, but once he told me that his dog had died. I also had the experience of pet loss, so we talked about our memories of our dog and became more open-minded and able to talk about anything.
40s men buy knitted throw half
What to say when a close friend loses a pet
If they’re your best friend, or someone you’ve been talking about pets with, you might want to speak to them accordingly.
“You’ve been taking care of pets for a long time. I know that, so it’s hard for me too ,to say goodbye”
“Did ○○-chan die? I still remember playing with.”
“It’s painful. Don’t overdo it now.”
These words change depending on the relationship with the other person, so there are no recommended example sentences.
You should tell them your honest feelings.
Words we felt warm to hear from our friends
Please see the testimonials sent by our customers (for friends)
Her beloved dog passed away and I gave her a cushion as a memorial item. By the time I gave her the cushion, she had calmed down a bit, so when I asked her,
“It’s time for him to go to heaven”
she started crying again and nodded while crying.
But she was kind of happy. She wanted him to live happily in heaven.
Men in their 30s Purchase a knitted cushion for a gift
I felt rewarded when my friend told me, “I think Robbie was happy.” I think I was worried about whether I was able to love Robbie properly. But that one word made me feel confident in myself. I was happy to meet Robbie and spend time with him.
Women in their 30s buy knitted cushions
“I see, I see.” I received an email with that word. I felt like she understood all my feelings just because of that. I felt like her was by my side. It was just a few words, but I was very relieved and relieved.
Now, I married to her and we have two new cats.
Man in his 40s buys a knitted cushion
Listening is more important than words
Kind words are important.
But I think it’s more important to listen.
It might be a good idea to ask the person who lost a pet about how they are feeling now, what happened when the pet died, or how the pet was alive.
Ask them about their happy memories, such as the first time pet came home or their favorite toys.
I think they will be happy if you ask them honestly, “How was it?”
Continuing the conversation can help them feel better. and talking to someone will help them sort out their worries.
We also receive phone calls and emails from customers to talk about their pet memories.
There are many customers who cry while talking, but by the time they hang up the phone, they cheer up a little.
And they say:
I have never been able to talk to anyone before.
You don’t have to say anything, just listen with nod. Please see “I want someone to hear the loneliness of pet loss/How to overcome pet loss ” for the reason .
People who became energized by listening to stories
My best friend’s cat passed away, and I made a blanket for her in memory. I also know her cat very well because I sometimes stay with her. We talked about cats late into the night, laughed and cried, all the while hugging the throw. She looked so happy to see the blanket.
30-year-old woman purchase a half-knit throw for a gift
When Hana (the cat I had) passed away, a friend rushed to see me. At first, I feel like she said things like “Are you okay?” After that, I didn’t say anything in particular, and we had a rambling conversation little by little, but when I started talking about Hana, she listened to me all the time. I was happy that she listened to me and that she was by my side.
Woman in her 40s Buying a knitted cushion for hreself
Response according to the situation
The words you say will change depending on how your pet died in the end.
when he died of illness
I got a call from a customer.
It seems that she couldn’t be present at the death of her pet.
It seems that she has been taking care of her pet for a long time. I think the reason she couldn’t be by pet’s side when she said last goodbye was because pet solicitude you.
Animals don’t want their owners to see them in pain.
Pets themselves would not want to see their master crying.
That’s why I think the pet died quietly when he was alone.
If there are people who regret not being able to see the end,
“I think he was a kind child. The pet probably didn’t want to see himself in pain.
And maybe it was hard to see mom cry.”
If you say something like this, you may be able to save a little bit of her regretful heart.
In the event of an accident or sudden parting
There are times when a sudden illness is discovered and the person dies in an instant, or when a traffic accident causes a sudden separation. At times like that, I’m not mentally prepared, and it’s very painful to accept the breakup.
In such cases, the owner may blame himself/herself.
There are many owners who feel that if they had noticed it sooner, it would have been because I hadn’t been able to take care of them.
It is important to help those who are blaming themselves.
“He was a kind child who hid his illness so that it wouldn’t be noticed.”
“Don’t blame yourself so much because the dog who met the accident also feels responsible.”
Also, if you can’t find the words, it might be a good idea to tell them honestly.
“It’s so sudden that I can’t find the words to say it, but are you okay? Don’t overdo it, if you need anything, just rely on us.”
It would be nice to tell you my honest feelings.
It takes time to accept the reality that your pet will never come back.
At least until then, I want to support you.
Words to prevent pet loss
Words from family and friends are important care to prevent pet loss.
The grief of losing a pet can be overwhelming. However, there are also people who are troubled by being told cold words by the people around them or being unable to talk to anyone.
Please help me if someone important to me is worried about such a thing.
I think there are many things that can be saved just by being by your side and listening to what you have to say.
But what should you do if you lose your pet?
Words that need attention
The words that hurt me
“Saying goodbye to a pet is hard for everyone. So get well soon.”
This is what I was actually told.
He said it to cheer me up, but I felt left alone, thinking that I was the only one feeling this deeply depressed.
I think the way you perceive this is different depending on the person, but be careful to choose your words with the other person’s feelings in mind.
Words to watch out for, words to avoid
“do not Cry”
When you’re having a hard time, when tears come out no matter how hard you try, don’t you think it’s going to be even more painful if you tell them not to cry?
Are you not even allowed to cry?
When dealing with people with pet loss, listen to their stories and make them cry.
Please accept that the person is in a painful state that makes them want to cry.
“Get well soon”
As I introduced earlier, I had a painful experience when I was told to “get well soon.”
I can’t seem to get well now, and I don’t want to get well either.
I’m just sad and lonely.
Trying to cheer yourself up in a difficult time will only make it worse.
Rather than trying to cheer you up, it would be better to say something that will make you feel a little more relaxed.
It’s important to switch when you’re cheering up and when you’re not overdoing it.
Some people use the word “poor” to describe a person who has lost a pet.
But this word is not the word to use for the grieving party, is it?
“That girl seems to be having a hard time losing her pet recently. I feel sorry for her.”
I think that it is good to use with friends. But don’t tell the person who lost their pet. Please note that there are people who actually use it.
when you can’t find the words
If you can’t find the words to express your feelings to someone who has lost a pet, you can send a gift.
At our store, we make cushions and throws with photos of pets, so they are also used as gifts for people who have lost their pets.
This is what our customers say after delivery.
“A friend was deeply saddened by the loss of his pet and didn’t know what to say to cheer him up. I feel like a gift like this goes beyond words.”
“My family’s cat died, and my mother was especially hurt, and it was a pet loss… No matter what I said, my mother’s heart didn’t resonate, but as soon as she saw the cushion, she cried, and the next day she was became fine.”
I hear words like this every day.
It seems that these are warm gifts shaped by memories.
If you can’t find the right words to say, why don’t you send memorial goods?
Reference article: Gifts for people with pet loss
Related article: Customers who got well with memorial goods
Words said when our pet died
Let me tell you about a time when we lost a beloved dog or cat. I would like to introduce the happy and painful words I received at that time.
The words that made me happy were the words, “peaceful death.”
We had a Newfoundland dog, which was rare at the time, but there was an acquaintance who had the same breed in the next town, so we played and talked with him and interacted with him. He also gave me advice on how to keep him and about his illness, and we had a relationship of trust. I was relieved to know that I had reached the end of my life expectancy and that I had lived my life to the fullest.
Another knew that we were nursing,
“I can feel your feelings for your mook (pet dog).”
He said. He also had a dog and had lost his dog too, so when he told me that he understood how I felt, I felt a little comforted.
Also, when the cat died, the unexpected words my wife said resonated with me.
Please see the words and deeds of my wife who saved me from pet loss .
There were times when I was told harsh words.
The most painful thing was the words, “But it’s a dog.”
He said, “I understand your sadness about the death of your dog. But it’s a dog.”
In addition, I was told, “It can’t be helped if you cry.”
The person may have said it to cheer him up, and we all know it, but I wanted him to give me time to cry.
The story of when my friend lost his pet
The words I gave when my friend’s cat died
Let me tell you the story of when my friend lost her cat.
She loved cat. I also have a cat, so we often talked about them when we were together.
I took care of her for many years, but one day I received a message that cat died.
It seems that he had already made up his mind, and since he must have received many condolences from people around him, I did not express my condolences.
“Well, thank you for contacting me. Cat has become a star. Tonight, when the weather clears up, I’ll go see the stars.”
I told you.
“Yeah. I’m sure it’s the brightest star, so I’ll be able to find it soon.”
and we parted.
When the relationship with the other person is close, there are times when a conversation that only they understand can be established.
It would be nice if the other person could be a little easier with your power.
People I met at an event exhibition
We may be asked to participate in events and exhibit original cushions at our store.
It seems that the dog that was kept at the venue passed away a few days before the event.
The person in the facility who was loved talked to me sadly.
“He’s dead,” he said.
I had no words to say and just listened to what he had to say.
I knew the dog myself, so I asked him a few questions, such as how long he had been at the facility and where he used to go for walks.
The staff at the facility seemed a little happy to be able to talk about their dog, so they talked about various things.
I didn’t say condolences, but listened to happy memories.
There may be no words that I can say to people who have lost their pets.
But the owner may be saved just by listening to the story of the deceased child.
By listening to the story of the child, the dog who died in my heart may be able to continue living.
Life may go back to Heaven, but I believe that our remembrance keeps it alive in our hearts.
If someone seems to be talking, please listen to the story.
Sometimes just having someone listen to you can make you feel a little less lonely.
Maybe the pets in heaven will be happy too.
It seems that by speaking out, you will be able to look at your situation from a bird’s-eye view and see your worries objectively. You may also feel that you are not alone in your depression.
After that, when you feel a little better, you may want to invite him out, or you may give him a gift of memories. Or sometimes it’s best to leave them alone. It depends on the relationship and consideration for the other person on a case-by-case basis, but I believe that your kindness will surely help to cheer up the other person.
It was a big dog that was kept at the facility.
And later, I ordered a throw with a picture of the dog.
It was finished in a work that remains in our hearts.