I’m Miasa from Japan, where I knit memorial items from yarn in response to pet loss consultations I receive from customers. In this column, I’d like to share some common concerns our customers express.
Today’s theme is:
“The pain of pet loss that comes days later.”
A Familiar Concern
Sometimes I hear:
I too,Regret keeps growing, and I’m overwhelmed with guilt every day.
Only later did I start thinking, ‘I should’ve done more…’
Why do these thoughts only surface now?”
The moment our pets die, many of us cry—some with tears, others with sobs. Crying can be a form of emotional cleansing, and I’ve personally felt a calm sense afterwards. But not everyone cries. When grief is too intense, tears may not come at all—some people are simply left stunned, while others had to focus on funeral arrangements and didn’t have time to grieve fully. Often, these people find the pain lingers much longer.
I believe that not being able to cry when lost is actually one of the hardest parts.
Overcoming Pet Loss Through Tears
Flashbacks of Memory
Beyond pet loss, many people sometimes relive past painful or embarrassing memories—things that happened years ago but still sting today. This is something I experience too: whether it’s trauma from childhood or regret over things I said to close friends decades ago, memories resurface frequently. I believe pet care can work the same way: “I should’ve done more,” “I’m responsible for not noticing their illness,” “I should have been with them at home…”—various regrets spontaneously re-emerge, and with them, the renewed pain.
How to Move Forward
Is there any way to escape this pain and find happiness again, for both yourself and your beloved pet’s memory?
I believe there is – and it helped me:
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Trust that your pet is grateful.
They wouldn’t hate you. If you fear they’re angry, that sadness would hurt them too. Your pet must feel, “Thank you for all your love.” You gave them love—that this grief is proof of. So please trust them. You were the best owner, and they were unquestionably happy to have you. -
Talk about your feelings with someone.
Many customers of mine open up to me, and often say they feel lighter afterward. As I craft memorial knit items, I make time to listen—not just to create a product, but to help ease hearts. That alone can be healing.
“Right after my pet died, even seeing its collar or photos was too painful—I hid everything away. But then I received the cushion you made at just the right time. It felt like they were with us again, and we were all so happy. We take turns hugging it and will cherish it always. Thank you.”
Ordered item: Cushion
Although crafting memorial items takes time, I believe listening to your story can relieve your heart, which is why I value it. I often hear, “Thank you for truly listening.” Just talking or confiding—even once—can ease our burden. One customer described it as, “Because I couldn’t speak to someone close, I told to you, as though it were a shop offering a listening ear.”
Please stop counting the things you couldn’t do. Instead, count how many times you showed love.
The pain might persist for a while longer—and that’s okay. Though you can’t see them anymore, they’re still rooting for you from wherever they are.
Loneliness is proof of love
If you still can’t get over it, it might be a good idea to just continue to grieve the loss of your pet.
Author’s Message
I create my works while sharing stories like these with my customers.
Every time I do this, I am reminded of Maro my cat.
He was sometimes difficult to care for when he first came to live with us, but looking back now, he was like a respected older brother to me in his later years.
I’m very happy to be able to introduce my work to everyone, using his photographs as examples.
