Why does the sadness of pet loss seem to return again and again?
Some of you may have experienced this:
“I thought I had recovered from pet loss and was doing well, but suddenly the loneliness came rushing back. It felt like I had slipped right back into those painful days again.”
Actually, I’ve been through the same thing myself.
In my experience, healing from pet loss wasn’t a straight line—it came in waves.
Some days I felt okay, and on other days, I was overwhelmed by grief again.
There was even a time when my grief became so severe that I struggled emotionally.
If you’re interested, I’ve shared that story here: [Here is the story at that time]
Over time, you’ll gradually begin to recover from pet loss syndrome.
But even so, the sadness can return.
No matter how many times you feel like you’ve gotten better, the pain may come back again.
I once asked a psychiatrist about this, and they told me that our emotional state naturally goes through ups and downs.
We have good days and bad days—and slowly, over time, we begin to heal.
So if you’re experiencing a wave of grief again, please don’t think,
“I knew it… I’m not okay after all.”
Instead, I hope you’ll think,
“Oh, the person who wrote this blog went through the same thing.”
Try not to be too hard on yourself.
In fact, maybe it’s okay to feel like “I can’t do this anymore.”
That too is a normal part of the healing process.
And in time, you’ll feel better again.
In July 2020—twelve years after saying goodbye to my dog Muku—I had to part ways with my cat.
I’ve found joy again since then, but even now, I still go through cycles of sadness and strength.
During those difficult times, there’s something I now hold onto that helps me keep going.
For more information, please see “Memorial items that can help ease the pain of repeated pet loss.”
Maybe Your Pet Is Visiting You When You’re Feeling Down
There were times when I thought to myself:
“Maybe when the sadness and loneliness come rushing back… it’s because Muku (my beloved dog in heaven) is coming to visit me.”
Doesn’t that thought bring a little comfort?
Even though you’re hurting, if you flip the perspective and think, “They’re here with me right now,”
you might feel just a little bit happier.
Looking at old photos, displaying their favorite ball,
gazing at their collar and thinking about turning it into something new—
doing these little things can bring a bit of energy back to your heart.
I lost my dog about three years ago.
I was filled with sadness and regret, and the memory swirled around in my head every day. Even when I felt a little better, it would come back again. I had a cushion made with a photo of my dog. Feelings of “welcome home” and “I’m glad to see you again” well up inside me again and again. I hold the cushion every day. Because it’s not printed, it feels like I’m holding it in real life.
A Medical Explanation
There’s actually a medical reason why emotional pain tends to come back again and again.
When our brains release chemicals like adrenaline and serotonin, we feel more energetic and tend to think more positively.
On the other hand, when the levels of these chemicals are low, we’re more likely to feel down, think negatively, or recall painful memories.
The amount of these substances released can be influenced by things like our daily experiences, physical condition, the weather, or even changes in air pressure.
In my case, when the barometric pressure drops, I get headaches, become more pessimistic, and my mood starts to sink.
And during those times, I often find myself remembering sad experiences.
Looking back now, I understand what was happening.
But at the time I lost my beloved dog, I had no idea—and that’s why the waves of sadness kept returning over and over again.
It’s Important Not to Push Yourself When You’re in Pain
What should you do when you’re going through a difficult time?
The answer is: take it slow and don’t push yourself.
If there’s something that absolutely must be done today—like housework or work responsibilities—just do that one thing.
Anything that can wait until tomorrow, let it wait.
Do only what you enjoy today, and let yourself do nothing else.
Some of our customers have told us that they find comfort in hugging their cushions.
I imagine they might also be looking at photos, or reminiscing about their pets with family and friends.
I think about those moments as I create each piece.
Related articles
How long will the loss of a pet last?
Return to list of pet loss consultation contents
