From time to time, I receive deeply thought-provoking questions from my customers—concerns that go beyond the usual topics of pet care.
Some ask whether it’s okay to look for a “replacement” for a beloved pet they’ve lost. Others share that they started caring for a new pet, yet find themselves unable to truly love them. It turns out, more people struggle with this than you might think, so I’d like to share my perspective.
Questions from Our Customers
At our knitting workshop, we use our craft to create custom knitted pet memorial gifts. Using photos of your pet, we capture their likeness in yarn, creating cushions, blankets, and other keepsakes.
Many customers not only order a memorial product but also open up about their grief. Each story is different, but one particular theme comes up often:
“I adopted a pet that looks just like the one I lost, but I can’t feel the same love.”
“I can’t let go of my late pet, but my family brought home a similar-looking new one.”
Choosing the Same Breed and Even the Same Name
It’s not uncommon for people, after losing a beloved dog, to adopt another of the same breed and same coat color, even giving them the same name. These owners usually understand that each is a separate, unique life, and they love them individually. Since dogs of the same breed and color often share similar temperaments, it can feel very natural.
In my own case, our family once had a Newfoundland dog, and if circumstances allowed, I would love to have another someday. Right now, though, owning such a large dog isn’t practical for us.
When People Seek a “Replacement” for a Lost Pet
Personally, I don’t believe in the idea of a pet’s reincarnation. That belief is exactly why I consider life so precious and irreplaceable.
Yet sometimes, customers tell me they adopted a pet that looks almost identical to the one they lost—hoping to “replace” them—only to feel disappointed when the new pet behaves differently or doesn’t bond with them in the same way.
In such moments, I honestly feel at a loss. I can’t change the situation or offer a simple fix. All I can do is listen, encourage them to take full responsibility for the new life they’ve welcomed, and hope that love will grow over time.
Related Topics:
- When you seek a replacement pet vs. recognizing your pet as one-of-a-kind
- Things to consider before bringing a new pet home after loss
- Coping with guilt when you can’t love a new pet after losing another
When Family Brings a Similar Pet
Some customers share situations like these:
“I can’t let go of my late pet, but my family adopted a pet that looks just like them.”
“An elderly parent living alone lost their pet, and a family member brought them a new one without asking.”
Family members might encourage this because they worry about loneliness, especially for someone living alone. And sometimes, it does turn out to be a good decision in the long run.
Still, before accepting a new life into your home, it’s essential to have an open and honest discussion with everyone involved.
Even Within a Family, Love for a Pet Can Be Different
The way we express and experience love for a pet can vary—even among family members.
(Related article: Understanding Pet Loss When Your Family Doesn’t Share Your Grief)
If someone in the family is still struggling to overcome pet loss, it’s best to have an honest discussion before bringing a new pet into the home. While a new companion can sometimes open the door to new happiness, it can also have the opposite effect—intensifying the pain instead of easing it.
(Related article: Struggling to Love a New Pet After Pet Loss)
“I Just Want to See Them Again”
Some grieving owners tell me:
When I hear this, there’s little advice I can offer—only a listening ear. But I do believe that any pet loved so deeply must have felt truly happy during their life. And I believe they are grateful for the time they spent by your side.
Instead of searching for a replacement or a reincarnation, why not look for the happy days you shared—within your own memories?
My Own Feelings
I, too, have moments when I long to see a cat I once had. If you ask me whether I believe I’ll ever see them again, my answer is yes—I believe we’ll meet someday.
Maybe it will be in a dream. Maybe it will be when my own life comes to an end. I don’t know when it will happen. But holding onto that belief somehow makes my heart feel a little lighter.
